Love's To Blame
by katies-crazy-world
Summary: AU: Regina and Emma are engaged, but life is never easy and things get in the way. And Love's To Blame...


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in the story. I simply borrow them and have fun.

"You can't be serious… This has been just too much, Regina" Emma walks furiously around the kitchen-counter. Regina follows her sighing about another argument with her fiancee.

"Your mother did not have to throw every man, who has attended the banquet onto you. This whole evening I stood there besides you. For god's sake, we are engaged. And now I'm the bad guy, because one time I defended myself by telling her politely to stop this nonsense?!"

"Politely?" Emma looks dumbfounded

"You threatened her"

The older woman tries to stay calm, her closed eyes and heavy breathing give away that she is on the verge of breaking out like a volcano.

"I know if she could she would change the fact that we're getting married in a heartbeat" at this point Regina sadly watches Emma still defensive form

"But she didn't have to introduce every man to you. Hoping you magically change your mind and decide against marrying me. I'm sorry, if you think I overreacted by defending us" with that the brunette turns around and goes out into the garden.

Emma follows closely behind

"It's not only that. These disputes happen constantly nowadays. You've been way out of proportion today, and you know that. This all gets too much" Emma sobs through the last sentence quietly trying to hold it together. Upon hearing that Regina turns around, alarmed.

"Emma…"

"No Regina, I love you, with all my heart, but I can't be with you anymore, it hurts too much, every day fighting… I can't" both women look each other in the eyes, trembling. Regina makes a step towards the blonde trying to give them both some physical comfort, which Emma avoids with a step backwards and her hands up in the air.

"Emma, please. I… Please don't do what I think you're doing. Please don't leave me" Regina cries with a broken voice. Emma has water in her eyes.

"I can't see you right now, because my heart just can't take it. I am so sorry…" With that Emma storms out of the apartment, leaving Regina behind.

Seeing her face is haunting my mind. Every second, every minute of the day, at night I dream of her. Emma is everywhere and sadly…nowhere.

The break-up a month ago has gotten to me and has shaken me deeply to the core. I'm barely getting there, being okay again. I know I have to. Even if I do not for myself at least for Henry. Everything should be as normal as possible for him. Damn it, keep it together, Regina. Do not start to cry right on this pavement now.

As I open the door to Granny's diner my worst nightmare and most beautiful heaven stands only a few meters away leaning against the counter, talking to Ruby. Smiling. God, do I miss her. What I'd do to just see her smile at me this way again.

With slumped shoulders I make my way to the next booth I find. As soon as I sit down Sydney approaches me. God, leave me alone you creep...

"Look, who just came in, Emma?" Ruby smiles sadly, her best friend is hurting and she tries her very best to cheer her up. Seeing Regina did the trick all the time in the past. It lit up the blondes face like nothing else could.

But now, Emma is barely holding herself together whenever she sees Regina or hears her name, which is pretty often considering her position as the towns' mayor.

"I don't even want to know" Emma says dryly.

"She still looks as miserable as you do, Emma" the blonde attempts to smile at her best friends try to cheer her up, failing to do so.

"If you give me another of these fake smiles I'm going to throw you into the well again and then we'll see where this fake-smiling will get you" she pauses and suddenly grins

"Maybe Disneyland. Would be nice for a change, wouldn't it?" Emma laughs at that

"What a punishment that would be" She realizes that she has just smiled the first genuine smile in a long time.

"Oh no, Sydney is there with her. Emma, I know you don't want to see it. But, he is leaning in far too near for my liking. Your girl…" Emma snaps

"Ruby, she is not.." Ruby watches the table closely

"I know, listen Emma, she just slapped him. I think she doesn't like his presence" at that comment Emma fastly turns around, alarmed.

Whatever has happened between us, I'll always protect her.

"I told you to leave, Sydney. Get up and leave right now, before I lose my willpower" Regina says quietly in order to not cause a scene.

Well, after that slap it is nearly impossible, because all eyes are on us now.

"Getting all feisty on me now, aren't we, madam mayor?" he grins smugly

"You still haven't told me when I can pick you up" Sydney is waiting.

"Sydney… Leave as long as you can" Regina hisses angrily, not even bothering to give an answer to that stupid question.

"Regina is a big girl, she can handle this herself" Ruby says hoping to stop Emma's blood from boiling.

"Still, I am the sheriff, if he does not stop I'll make him stop" Emma responds determined and approaches the booth.

"I think you heard her, Sydney. Now get up and leave her alone" Emma stands self-confidently next to him.

"Oh sheriff, rumor is she is not yours anymore. Can't really blame a man for trying, can you?" he grins arrogantly. Emma flinches.

Surely he is right, that still doesn't mean that…whatever.

"Listen Sydney, we are going to do this the mature way and try to not cause a scene. You're getting up right now" she packs his shoulders and drags him up to stand. As soon as he senses it he stands on his own nose to nose to Emma

"and then what, Emma?" he scolds disdainfully.

"And now you get out of here before I lose my temper" the blonde answers, standing tall, not giving him a centimeter space.

"This is a public place, I can leave whenever I want to"

"Not today, Sydney. You get out of here and leave her alone, because she doesn't want your company. She has made that clear" Emma whispers dangerously.

"Maybe not right now, but one day I'm going to get her and give her everything she deserves, everything that you could not give her and there is nothing you can do to stop me" Sydney whispers back. He winks grotesquely at Regina, who sits and has watched this scene playing out in front of her perplexly.

As soon as Sydney is out the brunette gets up from her booth and storms past Emma to the counter. Regina throws some money at Ruby and then quickly makes her way to the exit of the diner. Emma still stands there motionless.

At the sight of Regina leaving she fastly runs after her.

Why is she running away from me now?

"Regina, stop"

Damn, she is fast with these heels. Thank god she stopped. Gosh, she is so beautiful. Focus, Emma…

"What was that in there?"

"I don't think that's your business anymore, Emma" Regina's face remains stoical.

"That creep was bothering you"

I see deep dark circles under her hazel-brown eyes. She looks so tiny and vulnerable even if she does her best to look like she is fine and her normal self.

"I didn't need your help. I could've handled him on my own" with that the older woman turns around.

Out of reflex I grab her by the biceps and she stops to look at me. A few seconds pass between us while we get lost in each other eyes, defeated.

Sensing my mistake I let her arm go. And let her go.

I really have no right to care anymore, but I still do. This realization kills me and once again I shatter to pieces.

It is a week after the incident at the diner when I see Emma again. A new habit of me is to take a walk at around 8 in the evening. Along main street. Passing her station.

Some days I stop and just watch her for a few minutes. For some reason seeing her calms me. Seeing that she is okay, seeing that she is still there. I always take good care of where I stand so she doesn't see me watching her like a creep. One time I think she saw me, but I just started to walk away.

Now I've just started my journey. I turn around the corner as I see her yellow death-trap that she calls a car. She is driving along main street searching for something.

I bet that small kitten is lost again. Like last week when Granny lost her and Emma searched the nearly the whole night for that tiny creature. What sheriff would search for a lost kitten after work? Oh Emma, you're such a genuinely good person.

Suddenly I see a huge truck coming along the crossroads where Emma is leading to, not seeing anything. No, at this rate they are going to collide. I stop immediately and try to think what I can do. A few seconds later the truck suddenly stops half a meter in front of the crossroads with a damaged car tire.

Puh, that was close. Luckily, you still have it down pat.

Emma carelessly crosses him and continues with her quest.

Sighing I continue my journey. As I pass the truck I walk over to the frustrated driver. I approach him smilingly.

"Hey, I see your car tire is broken. I know a garage 5 minutes from here. A friend of mine is the owner. Please go there and tell him to fix your truck. I'll pay for it" The driver looks perplex.

"Thank you lady, how can I repay you?"

"Oh nothing, it's my pleasure to help" I smile at him. He seems so happy about the gesture. I give him the instructions and continue my walk.

As I arrive at home I can't help but feel like I'm being watched. Scanning the area I see a yellow car rounding the corner. Smiling I let myself into the mansion.

The moment the door closes behind me I'm caught in my new apartment, which I hate since the day I've moved in. It doesn't feel right to live here. Without her. Not sharing a bed with her. These four walls simply do not feel like home is supposed to feel. It feels empty and cold. Like I feel at the moment.

I drag myself into the kitchen to grab a beer. I see Snow sitting there awaiting me.

What is she doing in my kitchen?

"You look like hell, Emma"

"Thank you, very cheery words of wisdom, Snow" I reply sarcastically.

"It's been over a month now, Emma. Maybe you should come out of your shell…"

I think I'm hallucinating now. How dare she?

"I don't think so" I reply repellant.

"Really, there are plenty of fish in the sea for you. You just need to start dating again…"

That's enough!

"I dare you to continue your thought aloud, mother. You were never content with me and Regina having a relationship. Even when we were engaged you still couldn't accept it. You put obstacles in our way whenever there was a possibility for it. Hell, you even tried to sell me to these creepy single men like I was on sale when she stood right next to me…." I can barely contain my anger. She says nothing just looks down at her feet.

"Congratulations, now we are broken up, she is miserable, I can barely sleep through the night, but you must be so happy about the situation, because now I'm free from her. Isn't that what you have always wished for?" I break into tears. Snow goes in for a hug which I allow.

Honestly I do not have the strength to stop her.

For a few minutes she lets me cry before she stands back.

"I'm sorry, Emma. I just thought she wasn't the right one for you. Regina and I do not have the best past, you know that… but…." She fidgets with her fingers.

"I..really just want you to be happy, with whoever that might be. Even if that might be Regina" I am surprised to hear this. Still, Regina and I are over, she is done with me. I shake my head looking down as I whisper

"Thanks, it's nice to hear, but we are over. Regina is starting to date again, I think. Ruby told me she witnessed some interaction between her and Kathryn…Which is good for her, really. She should move on, we…" I can't continue.

It hurts too much. I'm lying, I don't want her to move on, she was it for me.

Snow stops me in my train of thoughts with one simple answer.

"No she is not. She is working with her on that amusement hall you always rambled about. Kathryn and her meet frequently to discuss the juristic laws, architectural things and stuff like that"

"She does what? She is building my dream idea?" I'm shocked to hear that.

The amusement hall was an idea I had a while back when we started dating. I always thought that Storybrooke could use a place where old and young could meet up and have some fun together. A place with a cinema and a theatre with a few rooms where older people could play some board games, with a small cafe near the lake where you could go out onto a terrace and walk down to the beach. We often laughed about it, she always dismissed my idea playfully telling me that it wasn't possible to build something like that in this place.

Now I hear she builds it. My dream place.

"Maybe she hasn't moved on, Emma" My face still must look a bit shocked, because she nudges me and smiles lightly.

"Why are you telling me that? I don't understand" I really do not. Doesn't she hate Regina?

"Because I can't keep on seeing you hurting this much. Knowing I'm partly also to blame for that"

Saturdays were always our date night. Emma and I would go somewhere and do something and at the end we would always come to the beach to look at the stars together. It was cheesy, but I loved every minute of it.

This is the first evening I have enough courage to come here since we have broken up. As I approach our place I smell her perfume before I see her. Sitting there. Lost in her thoughts she looks out onto the lake. I turn around on my heel not wanting to disturb her when suddenly she calls my name. My eyes flutter close as I collect myself and turn back around to her, approaching her.

"I'm sorry, I did not want to disturb you that's why I wanted to leave " Emma looks horrible, I can see she is still hurting. Her cheekbones appear a bit more, she is not eating enough. Oh Emma…

"It's okay, you can sit here too, if you want. I don't mind" She smiles faintly and sits back down again.

I hesitate but sit down next to her, carefully putting an appropriate distance between us.

A small breeze blows through my hair. Her perfume and her own smell mixed together fill in my nostrils, intoxicating. I have to stop myself from leaning in to capturing more of it, not knowing when I'll have the next chance to do so. After some time she breaks the silence.

"It's nice here. I've always loved coming here with you. It was like our little safe haven away from all the problems" I swallow the lump in my throat, Emma's voice is also a bit struggling.

"Ya, it's nice here. I often come here if I need to think" I answer trying to sound indifferent.

"About what? The new amusement hall you're planning on building?" Emma asks.

"Who told you? Oh, let me guess. No don't. I already know the answer" How fast can my mood change? It's always really surprising how Snow can still interfere with my life.

"It's a nice idea, Regina. But why now?" There, she said my name, like she always said it, with so much love in her voice. I can't bear being here with her. I get up not giving her an answer.

Emma realizes quickly and blocks my path.

"Come on, talk to me, Regina" Emma is a little angry at my attempt to escape the conversation again. I remain silent.

"It can't be that hard to simply have a chat" she continues as my resolve breaks.

"Oh sure it can, you want to talk, fine. I planned this thing a while back, I wanted to surprise you on your birthday, but…" I swallowed. She understood and just watched me carefully.

"Talking to you is damn hard, Emma. Being here is a painful reminder… I need to go" She just nods.

After hearing that, I understand her. I need to let her go now. This situation is troubling her. She probably came here for some mental support or relief and who is sitting here at her safe place? The one she tries to forget. Her ex-fiancee. Damn, Emma, you fucked this up…

I realize I can't go on seeing her this unhappy. I still love her. She has to know that. I don't want to continue like this. Regina is my true love.

Today as I wake up, is an even worse day than the ones before, because today Emma and I would have been together for 3 years. Fresh tears spring into my eyes, threatening to fall down.

Why don't you just get up and try to get through the day, Regina? With a bit of luck and incompetence of your fellow colleagues you will be bound to the desk the whole day.

Sighing I get up and as I arrive at work an hour later I am pleasantly surprised.

On my desk there is a coffee and my favourite snack waiting for me. Besides it is a note saying

"If you just smile one time today, your real, beautiful smile, I can die in happiness."

I genuinely smile reading that, knowing she hasn't forgotten what day today is.

She isn't totally over us. There is still a small chance…

I can't continue my thought because suddenly the telephone rings. Time to work, madam mayor.

God, I hate this day already. Today is my birthday and Snow has planned this huge party at Granny's to celebrate with everyone. She is really excited about this event. She even bought me a special dress to wear for the occasion. Work has gone smooth today. But I've heard nothing from Regina.

Maybe she has forgotten your birthday? Well, you can't really blame her. You hurt her like nobody before you. It's understandable if she'd have forgotten it. But still it would hurt.

A small knock on the door. Hopefully I open it to see Charming with a wide grin picking me up for the party. Well then, let's go…

I step into Granny's and I am instantly blown away. My mother really made an effort. There is a table with presents and the bar is filled with alcohol to last half a century (or until the dwarves arrive). Everyone is waiting for me and standing there, congratulating me. Everyone except for one person. Trying to hide my disappointment I plaster a huge grin on my face and greet everyone.

Henry called me and asked me to bring his jacket, because he forgot his and it was starting to get cold this night. Being the good mother I am I told him I would bring his jacket over to the party. Even if I didn't really want to go in the first place.

A little conflicted about going in or staying outside and calling Henry to come out I risk it and go in. No one really pays attention to me entering, which today I'm grateful for. I scan the room for Henry and smile at him. On my way over to him I place my present for Emma on the table and greet my son.

Of course I have gotten her something. She means too much to me. And today is her birthday.

Giving him his jacket I scan the crowd for Emma seeing her chatting with the new guy, Richard Cypher. He is standing across the room with a drink in hand and Emma and Snow are laughing, looking happy. Henry sees me watching them and says:

"You should go over and tell her Happy Birthday" It is painful to watch them so carefree and having fun together, he even places a streak of hair behind her ear and she does not hesitate to stop the intimate gesture.

"Why don't you do this for me, Henry? I think I'll go home, I'm tired. Okay?" He sees right through me. Still, he just nods understandingly and wishes me a good night. Like a ghost I make my way out of the party and start walking home.

"No really, you should meet my wife Kahlan. She is the kindest woman you'll ever meet. Next week she is going to arrive in Storybrooke" Richard smiles genuinely at me.

"It would be a pleasure, Richard. We should definitely meet up for a drink or something" He nods happily. He seems really in love with this woman. I've never met someone that happy with someone. Well, besides myself a while back when I was with the most beautiful woman, the mother of my son. Speaking of my son I see him standing over there alone daydreaming.

"Please excuse me for a second" Richard nods and instantly chats with Charming about some Sword of Truth or so.

As I make my way over to Henry I pass the table of presents and can't help but recognize the immaculate writing of Regina on an envelope. Fastly I grab it and find a flight ticket for two people to Rome, my dream destination.

She has not forgotten you, Emma! You still mean something to her.

Quickly I approach Henry, who is grinning widely.

"She was here? Your mom was here? When did she go?"

"A minute or so"

"Damn it" I swear measuring up my chance to catch her. Wordlessly Henry holds my coat in front of him and grins widely. I look surprised

"You have to be fast if you want to catch her. Good luck, Ma" I grab my jacket and wink at him telling "Thanks, kid" as I hurry out of the door. Running down the street hoping it's not too late. To catch up with her. To make things right with her. To get her back.

The brunette watches the stars as she walks slowly along the pavement. Walking onto her front porch she suddenly hears someone shouting her name. Stunned she turns around to an approaching Emma, who is out of breath and mumbling incomprehensible stuff.

"I said, you haven't forgotten my birthday" she repeats after trying to get more oxygen into her lungs.

"Of course I remembered your birthday, Emma" the older woman smiles sadly being hurt by Emma's assumption.

"But you didn't congratulate me" Emma counters confidently.

"Well, happy birthday, Emma. Now you should get back to your party" the brunette nods to the direction back. Emma stands still watching her every move.

"Thanks for the tickets. It's for two. Who is the other card for?" Emma asks, just needing a hint, that there is still hope for them. Just a little sign would be enough.

"Well, I'm sure there are enough, who would volunteer to accompany you. This Richard Cypher seemed pretty interested, if you ask me"

Jealousy, yes, Emma thinks.

Regina turns around to grab the doorhandle as Emma pushes her up against the wall.

Losing her ability to think with Emma being this near she doesn't protest.

"What if I don't want Richard? What if I want you, Regina?" Emma's face is close to the brunettes.

"Emma…" Regina's mind is spinning, out of control.

"I'm the birthday-girl for another 3 minutes or so. I still get to make a wish, right?" Emma asks quietly.

"Sure" Regina nods getting lost in Emma's presence.

They stare at each other with longing in their eyes. Their bodies are still touching, Regina trapped against Emma's front and the wall.

"Then please…Kiss me" Emma whispers with a broken voice.

Without being able to stop herself and control the loud beating of her heart Regina's lips land on Emma's. At first soft and carefully, but soon it grows more passionately. Both women put everything they have into the kiss, not knowing if it is the last one they share.

As the lack of oxygen becomes too much they stop, their foreheads touching.

Regina closes her eyes trying to collect her senses while Emma can't keep her eyes closed fearing to miss a moment seeing the beautiful sight in front of her.

"Regina… I…" but she is silenced with another passionate kiss. As it ends Regina carefully puts some space between them.

Walking along her veranda she grips the frame, needing to hold onto something that keeps her grounded.

"Emma, I can't continue like this. I can't stand being apart from you. It takes all my willpower not to grab you and kiss you whenever I see you in the diner or elsewhere… I…" Regina stops, looking down at her feet. Crying.

"I love you, Regina. And I want to be with you" Emma says in a calm voice. Regina approaches the blonde, who also has tears on her cheeks.

"Everything feels wrong, when you're not there with me. I can't sleep without you. I can't eat without you. Hell, I can't do my work like I'm supposed to do, because I keep changing every route so I can drive along here and check if you're okay" Emma's rambling gets silenced with a finger on her lips.

Regina takes her hand and looks at the engagement rings neither of them had taken off.

"You're still wearing your engagement ring" Regina says lovingly.

"So do you" Emma counters grabbing Regina's hand more.

"How could I take it off? It would have been too final," the older woman swallows and then continues

"and I never stopped loving you, Emma" desperately Emma grabs Regina by the neck while whispering silently

"Me too"

Another heated kiss evolves into something more ardently as the woman manage to open Regina's door and let themselves in.

The night smells like given chances and in the breeze you can hear the whispered decision to try again.

_Thanks for reading! ;)_


End file.
